Confrontation
by JTheGoblinKing
Summary: Harry pleads for Bob.


Confrontation:

Disclaimer: A short Dresden Files fan fiction based on The Dresden Files television series. The Dresden Files are owned by Jim Butcher and The Scifi Channel.

A debate in this fan fiction is based on a real debate I had with a so-called Bob fan who was trying to rant to me that the reason Bob could not have really had a dark past is because evil people never really change. Some dialogue in this fan fiction is literally text from that debate.

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Dreams like these- and yes, he did dream- made everything so much worse. It opened old wounds, freshened pains that had started to dull and numb. He had been in the void. The empty place he was banished to within his own skull where he was only half-conscious and half dreaming. It was the closest thing to sleep he knew. It was a place where time became relative and it was hard to tell if minutes, hours, or even years passed. And it always left him slightly disoriented to be called from it.

He had been dreaming of Winifred. It had been so real that it made it seem that his entire existence after her death had all been some strange, horrible, and vague dream that could easily be forgotten. It was the sort of dream where everything could be forgiven. She was alive and so was he. And he was not in some self-made void within his own skull in a shabby laboratory in Chicago. No. He was in a chamber of his old home in Bainbridge. And she was happy and smiling and they were both alive and nothing bad could ever happen to them. There was something he wanted to do for her, he wanted to buy her something and he was working out in his mind when he would do it and the details of the purchase when the entire dream rippled, faded... All the sensations of the dream, touch, smell, just memories of life. The dream faded and he was vaguely aware that a voice was calling to him.

'Bob! Come on, Bob. Wake up. It's time to go.'

He was not with Winifred. She was gone. He was dead. And he was an insubstantial puff of air doomed for all eternity, a slave to whomever owned his skull. The torment of not being alive, of being unable to effect the world around him, it was fresh. It was as if it had all just happened and his suffering had only just begun. Memory of years of anguish came flooding to him. The suffering seemed new. And Harry was calling to him...

Harry did not like it when Bob took a little longer than usual to emerge from the skull. It always made him a little nervous as if one day he would find that Bob was gone. Perhaps he had abandonment issues. In any event Harry put his large hand on the cranium of the skull, giving it a little gentle push with his own power. It was not to hurt the ghost, just to give him a small jolt, a tiny buzz of his power to rouse him of somehow he could not hear him. Sometimes he wondered what the ghost experienced in there but he never dared ask.

Bob felt the small jolt of power. It sent a tingling rush through his whole being. It wasn't quite sensation. It was more like a little shock through his whole non-corporeal being, the mass of energy and consciousness that he was. It left his mind a little more clear, a little more focused but the dream still haunted him.

Harry felt a rush of relief when he saw the orange-yellow light flicker within the skull like a candle flame. From the right eye socket the amorphic ball of light emerged. It was surrounded in a dark, blackish smokey, sulfuric haze. There was a faint scent in the air that Harry could pick up. He used to find it slightly unpleasant. Now it was something reassuring and familiar. Did Bob know he stunk? Well, he never asked and he never told him.

The collection of embers and smoke hovered at about eye level with Harry and from the brightest point in the light he could see the cloudy image of Bob's head taking shape. From the smoke trailing behind came a dark velour suit of clothes that might have seemed stylish in nearly any time period but did not exist in the era in which Bob was actually alive.

Harry watched as Bob took shape.

Bob concentrated on his own physical form. The contours of his own face. His own white hair and grayish blue-green eyes. The odd, pale aquamarine colour that at one point women thought looked pretty when they would gaze into them, his eyes.

The suit was easy to form. How many of these had Bob seen in catalogs or on men who walked around outside? He had a whole catalog of them in his imagination. All similar yet different enough to be a semi-contemporary wardrobe of elegance and style befit for a sorcerer of his age. On his hands were the imitation of rings he had worn in life. The shoes were simple, polished black leather. And on each wrist were the horrid things he could never remove. The manacle bracelets. He could only hide them slightly with the cuffs of the suit but whenever he took his own human form they came against his will. The physical manifestation of the bonds that held him to his skull. He always felt it, even when not in his human looking form, the sense of being held by a leash that held his whole being, the constant presence. The manacles were the only sensation he really had. They seemed heavy but not too heavy where he couldn't seem to ignore them. And he could feel the invisible chains that linked him to the skull.

Soon the ghost seemed solid in appearance, slightly shorter than Harry. Bob feigned a slight smile as he looked at Harry. He had deliberately taken shape very close to Harry. He knew Harry did not like that. He had watched Harry lean back as if afraid to touch him while not yet in his human looking form, as if he thought the glittering light that was truly all that was left of Bob might burn him if it touched him. Frightening and or unnerving Harry was a small, private pleasure. He did not do it to upset Harry. But he did it to know he could effect an emotion from others even if fear or 'weirded out' was all he had left to cause.

'Hello, Harry.' There was a hint of affection in Bob's voice.

'Come on, Bob, we're gonna be late.' Harry was dressed in his nicest clothes, a twice mended jacket and white shirt with dark jeans. They were casual but they were the most expensive and 'proper' attire Harry owned. Bob almost flinched at the thought of Harry wearing that for the High Council but he remembered all too well the last time Harry dressed in a proper suit. Harry was a handsome man of thirty-six-years-old with dark hair and puppy-like eyes. Under Harry's shirt was a silver pentacle necklace, a gift from Harry's mother and around his wrist was the shield bracelet that had also been left to him by his mother.

Bob watched Harry pick up the skull. The skull- Bob's skull- was covered in sigils and runes which bound him to the skull for all eternity and made him unable to interact with the world around him, the world he could never really be a part of. It also forced him to obey whomever owned the skull. The markings on Bob's manacle bracelets matched some of the spokes of the Third pentacle of Saturn which was carved into his skull.

Bob felt the slight pull as Harry placed the skull inside of a tattered old knapsack and slung it over his shoulder. Going? Were they going somewhere? Bob's expression was of confusion for a moment as he tried to remember. The dream had left him foggy. Oh, that was right. The High Council...

'Harry, this will never work. They'll never-'

'I made my decision.' Harry said sharply, interrupting the ghost. 'I have the right to ask for this hearing.'

'But Harry they already don't trust you. Asking for this will not put you in their good graces. It's not worth it. I'm-'

Harry raised his hand. 'I don't want to hear it, Bob. For once can you just let me try something without you shooting me down?'

Bob frowned sternly.

'Now come on. We don't want to keep Ancient Mai waiting.

'They always so no.' Bob said, his tone becoming slightly softer, a little more imploring.

'Well, I've never asked.' The wizard seemed determined.

Bob seemed to sigh. (Everything about him was illusionary). It was rare that Harry would call him out when taking him somewhere. Usually if Harry took him somewhere, which was rare in itself, then Harry would make him stay within his skull until they reached the destination but this was a special occasion. Usually Harry was worried about someone accidentally walking through Bob and causing a panic or some other give-away that revealed that Bob was not really there or mortal.

Harry opened the front door and looked out. He turned his head left and then right, making sure no one else was around. The coast was clear. He pushed open the door and held it open for Bob as if he were holding it for a lady.

Bob stepped outside. He did not easily take for granted the simple pleasure of actually being in the sunlight. Even just the light reflecting off the pavement seemed beautiful and breath taking to him.

There was a small, private pang of guilt in Harry at seeing Bob look in wonder at the simple city street in the daylight. Harry Dresden took things like that for granted, simply being outside. He made a silent promise to himself that if this did not go according to plan that he would, yes, take Bob out more often.

Harry stepped to his jeep and opened the passenger door for Bob. Bob managed to give the illusion of climbing inside, the same way he could seem to climb stairs without actually touching the floor boards. He made himself seem to be sitting down in the passenger seat.

Harry shut the door and went behind the steering wheel...

The High Council was nothing the way he remembered it and yet... it was exactly the same.

Bob stood in the centre of the room. His skull rested on a small podium not far from where he stood. He blinked his pale eyes up at the small gathering of High Council officials. In the middle of the cluster was Ancient Mai. Her expression was hard and cold. She did not look ancient- she never did. She had black hair and looked like a pretty young Asian woman.

She was seated in a throne-like seat and the others sat on either side of her. She was directly in front of Bob. Bob stood in a conjuring circle that was usually used for holding captive sorcerers being brought to trial but today it was just for show.

The room was large and the lighting was disorienting enough where it was hard to tell if it was day or night outside. There were several wizards present that Harry Dresden had never seen before just watching the proceedings.

'Dresden, you can't expect us to take this request seriously.' Ancient Mai said.

'I certainly do.' Harry said. He was standing just beyond the conjuring circle. At the opposite side stood a rather imposing warden in an old fashioned cloak.

'You already know how I feel on this matter.' Ancient Mai said.

'You know as well as I do what happened with my Uncle Justin's Doppelganger. Not to mention Bob marched into Hell for us! He deserves this.'

Some of the High Council Wardens looked stunned. They had heard about it but this was the first it was really talked about. Ancient Mai, while wounded, had been taken to Harry Dresden's place to hide when a drake (dragon) was after her. The details were vague but apparently the building had been pulled into the realm between life and death and the ghost had been sent out into the darkness to investigate before they knew where they truly had been.

'There is a reason a sentence was passed made to last for all eternity.'

Bob repressed a small flinch at the reminder. This was humiliating. He knew Harry meant well but why was he subjecting him to this?

'Need I remind you,' Ancient Mai said, 'of all the things he has done. In his life Hrothbert of Bainbridge broke EVERY one of the seven laws of magick repeatedly.'

The imposing warden standing on Bob's opposite side from Harry stepped forward. 'All these events Mr. Dresden talks about can be explained away quite easily and are certainly NOT signs of redemption.'

'Explained away?' Harry was not cynical enough to understand how what Bob had done could be viewed as anything other than good and heroic. He was thrown off guard. Perhaps a small part of him had thought this might be easy. He could persuade them to break the curse on Bob (assuming they knew how) and though it would break his heart he would watch as his friend crossed over and hopefully would be able to finally find peace and hopefully Bob would have earned a means of avoiding those things that he claimed were waiting for him in the darkness. Bob deserved this chance.

The other warden, whom was a dark haired, older man, stepped forward. 'Think of what would have happened to "Bob",' He quoted with fingers as if the name was either a bad alias or Bob did not actually exist, perhaps a little of both 'had allowed Harry Dresden here to die in resurrecting Justin Morningway. Not only would the High Council have hunted "Bob" down and executed him a second time but he would have been subjected to a far worse punishment than what he already is serving.'

'That's not why he did it!' Harry protested. 'He did it to make sure Justin would never be able to come back again. He did it to...' He looked at Bob, feeling strangely ridiculous. He looked at Bob uncertainly as Bob looked back at him. 'to protect me.'

'He did it because he knew he would be hunted down. He could never have lived out that life. it doesn't count as sacrificing your life if it's not really your life to sacrifice. And he DID drain you of your life force to do it.'

'Only for a few minutes...' Harry said.

'And if you had died in that time? What then?'

'He wouldn't have let me die.'

'How can you be so sure?'

Harry raised his hand toward Bob as he faced Ancient Mai and the others before them. 'When we were trapped in Hell. He went out there for all of us to find out if there was a way through that darkness.'

'You commanded him. You ARE his master after all.'

'Yes, but... He came back. He was free. And he came back. He didn't have to but he did.'

The warden walked over to a small desk on the far side of the room. 'Hrothbert of Bainbridge.' For the first time since the hearing began Bob was being addressed.

Bob turned and looked at him. 'Yes?'

The man held papers in his hand. 'Is it true you were quoted as saying... ' He read off a paper. "There's no freedom in there, not for me. Listen. In my life my sins were considerable but there are things on the other side, presences... that love me not at all. I was fortunate to have extricated myself.'' Are these or are these not your words?'

'Well, yes...' Bob privately shuddered at the memory of what he saw out there in the darkness.

'Then the ONLY reason you went back to warn the others of where they were is because your current state of being is better than what awaits you in Hell!'

'I...' Bob seemed to be at a loss but then recovered with snark. 'Well, to be honest I doubt anyone would happily spend all eternity in Hell.' He managed a smile.

There was a small ripple of laughter through those present except among Ancient Mai and the few wardens who seemed to be the judges.

'I am certain that if we were in danger and what waited in that darkness for him was actually something good he'd have come back to warn us just the same even at the price of his freedom.' Harry said.

'How can you be so sure?'

'Because I know him. Because I trust him.' Harry looked at the other Warden and held out his hand. 'May I see that?'

The warden seemed reluctant at first. This was unorthodox but he was confidence that he would not lose. He begrudgingly handed Harry his notes.

Harry read off the quote '"In my life my sins were considerable but there are things on the other side, presences... that love me not at all." Yeah, no one is arguing he ran into something really bad there. But look at his wording. 'My sins were considerable but there are presences on the other side that love me not at all.' That means he views these things to be worse than himself or that they wanted to grab him up despite his sins. What if these are things he fought and killed that were far more evil than how anyone ever saw old Hrothbert of Bainbridge.'

'Now you're just grasping. You're using semantics to try to make it look like he was some sort of hero.'

'If he was so bad why would there be bad things waiting to take revenge on him?' Harry thought he had him there.

'Evil fights other evil all the time, usually for territory.'

'Bob has suffered for over a thousand years unable to effect the world around him. Isn't it about time he was shown just a little mercy?'

'Dresden, the entire point of an eternal sentence is because no mercy is ever deserved.'

'I don't believe that.'

'That's because you've always been a soft hearted, liberal minded rebel without a clue.' Ancient Mai said.

The other Warden continued. 'It's extremely unlikely there's a reputable criminologist in this world who would take seriously the idea that a megalomaniac such as Hrothbert of Bainbridge could be rehabilitated. You, Dresden, don't know what you're talking about in regard to criminal behaviour. And you are completely ignorant on this subject and don't know what you're talking about.'

Harry looked annoyed. 'Actually, I think you're the one whose wrong. Most psychiatrists- speaking from actually looking things up on the subject here and not just popular belief or what I "want" to think- they believe that trauma is the source of most psychological problems which lead to anti-social and criminal behaviour and that all of these things can be treated. Why do you think counseling is mandatory in most prisons? Just because it's currently socially unpopular to believe in redemption right now does not mean it does not exist.  
'I'm agnostic but even I know every religion in the world and every psychology text book in the world will tell you that anyone can be forgiven, anyone can be redeemed and anyone can reform if they really want to and really are given a chance, no matter how horrible their crimes are. There's no professional psychiatrist in the world who will tell you that a condition is utterly untreatable.  
'There are so many fictional stories about evil turning over a new leaf. These characters come to our imaginations and come into being in fiction because of what we, as people, know . What can be imagined can be achieved. And today, now more than ever, people need to be made aware that redemption is real and really is possible for anyone... literally anyone.' Harry said. 'I think there are some people here who could do well to learn that sometimes these lessons exist in fiction because it's something we need to embrace as being true in the real world too.  
'Black magick is an addiction. Bob descended into darkness, starting small and it grew... like an addict with a drug. Now you take this drug addiction and you give him that little push of watching the woman he loved die and WHAM you might have a completely psychotic bastard for a while completely pushed over the edge. He had a psychotic break more or less, mixed with black magick addiction that probably also left him power mad.'

'Certain criminal types can NEVER change.' The warden folded his arms as if he were a parent addressing a child. See him for what he really is. Never let a create like that free. We need to respect tradition and the wishes of the generations of wizards who all came before us. They never changed their stance in regard to Hrothbert of Bainbridge. Why should this generation be any different?'

'Bob saved me when my Uncle Justin came back and meant to kill me.'

'You wouldn't have been at Justin Morningway's mercy if not for "Bob." Did "Bob" tell you that HE was the one who taught Justin Morningway the Thaumaturgy that killed your father?'

'Yes, but...' Harry wavered. It was a blow to have the past used against him. He struggled to recover himself. 'You're the ones who made it where he's forced to obey whoever owns his skull! He couldn't help it!' Though Harry had to admit there was a faint bitterness and resentment there and it was wrong but a part of him did blame Bob and had taken it out on him and now he was trying to make up for that.

'There were ways around that.'

'Yeah. How?' Harry asked. 'Cause I'd sure like to know and I'm sure Bob would like to know. I'm asking that you guys show him a little mercy.'

'You must think we're crazy. After all these years why should the situation change now? Because YOU are so special? People like Hrothbert of Bainbridge can never change. YOU can never change. And you will never change a man such as Hrothbert of Bainbridge.'

'You don't know what you're talking about. He deserves this chance. It was bad enough it was like pulling teeth getting you guys to okay this hearing. Bob has the right to this chance.'

'My duty is to The High Council and I won't let you twist the intentions for THAT skull. The ghost has no rights. And there is a reason for that. The situation is not going to change. It should not change. Hrothbert of Bainbridge is nothing more than an echo. A data base. Anything more and that thing would be a threat.'

'He's my friend and he is NOT a "thing."' Harry said.

'You don't stand a chance here, Dresden.'

'I am warning you. I'm stronger than you think.'

'Is that a threat?'

'No. I will fight this for the rest of my life if I have to. I owe it to him.'

'Everyone of us is born with power. We all have to choose our way. He chose darkness. He was made an example of. That example must endure or others might think they can get away with going down the same road with just a slap on the wrist.'

'You call over a thousand years of THAT' Harry gestured to Bob and his skull, 'a slap on the wrist?! You don't know what it's like to be on the dark side of the glass.'

'You know nothing of me.' The warden said. 'I was born to a sorcerer. I'm from the same situation as you and this... THING but I chose the right path.'

'Some people aren't so lucky as to never make mistakes.' Harry said. 'And I'm going to do what must be done.'

'You're a fool. Hrothbert of Bainbridge has not changed. Creatures like that don't change. And you'll make us all pay for YOUR naivete. Or maybe you want to help him take over the world.' the warden said accusingly.

'No!' Harry looked annoyed. 'Change comes from inside. The person has to want to change. And there is no 'Never'. The real answer has always been yes. Anyone can change. It's a matter of choice. It's society's blood lust and refusal to accept that change is possible that prevent people like you from realizing this.'

'No reputable, honest mental health professional will tell you that anyone can be "fixed" if they don't want to be. People aren't automobiles. Even in physical medicine, you can't force somebody to get well. Tearing down and rebuilding your entire personality is enormously difficult and painful, and takes decades. Only the most highly-motivated people will even attempt that Herculean task, let alone accomplish it. And you expect us to believe the Charles Manson of the Wizard community did this?'

'I never denied that. But there is a difference in the words 'can' and 'will.' I only said anyone can change. I never said that everyone will change. Can and will are two separate words. Bob can change and has changed. He just can't prove it to you because you leave him helpless.'

The warden narrowed his eyes. 'The ONLY reason he's not the man he was is because he's now a ghost, unable to effect the world around him. If he were alive he'd be up to his old tricks again.'  
'That's not true and you know it!' Harry said.  
'What would be "Bob's" motivation to change? He's literally damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. No matter what he does or doesn't do, he's in prison forever. Not only that, but he is completely helpless. A corporeal slave at least has SOME means of resistance: lying, fighting, running away, even suicide. Bob has none of those abilities. His only possible way to defend himself is to maintain his reputation as a mean, dangerous monster . If he gets a reputation as a good guy, that actually opens him up to MORE exploitation by unscrupulous people, as what happened with the skin walker and the boy, Scott.

'You know about that?' Harry asked blankly. 'But you see, that's my point. Bob didn't have to say anything to her but he was trying to protect me!'

Harry threw his arms in the and stepped toward Ancient Mai. 'Don't you get it? He IS different. He deserves a second chance. What "motivation" does he have to change? I am reeling at this statement! Real redemption simply cannot be achieved if you anticipate reward for it. That's pure selfishness. It's like saying a belief in Hell is required for people to be good. No. Real goodness isn't for want of reward or fear of punishment. It's something far deeper than that. You really think people need to expect some sort of prize in order to be motivated to do what is right? That's selfish. Real goodness is selfless, like giving your life to save someone else...'

'What about a sense of feeling better about one self? I have known Bob since I was eleven-years-old. I have seen him evolve. He is sarcastic but he has a heart. I doubt, less than thirty years earlier, Bob would have given up a second life to save anyone. He watched after me. What we do together isn't to win the approval of the High Council. I'll never have that, neither will he. Bob helps me, not just because I command him. He's changing. I know he wants to be a better person.'

Despite the fact that Bob was touched he managed to keep his expression hard and rolled his eyes. His arms were folded over his chest.

Harry continued. He didn't seem to notice Bob. 'He doesn't think he'll ever be forgiven or set free. When he died for me he didn't do it for what he could get from it. He did that out of love and compassion and selflessness. And that was a major step toward redemption.'

'Selflessness doesn't actually exist.' Said the same cynical warden. 'Everyone's got a selfish motive even if they don't even realize it. When you do your "Hero" work you're doing it to make yourself feel better about yourself or to make others see you differently than what they already know. That you're going to slip back into black magick again.'

Harry was angry. That was a personal blow. 'You don't know anything about me. Nothing will change how I see myself and nothing will change how others see me. I do what is right because I want to. That's it. It's that simple. No motive.'

'You're tricking yourself.'

'What about when people give their lives to save strangers?'

'That's not selflessness. It's "kin selection."'

Harry looked at him with a blank, confused expression.

The warden continued. 'You imagine yourself in their place or view the person to be like you or like your family and so you feel the instinct to protect them. See, selflessness does not exist at all so don't pretend this ghost has managed what real people never really can. We're animals at heart. And we NEED authority and laws and examples like this to keep us from going out of control. Read Lord of the flies. Look at what happens to those boys in that story.'

'You call it kin selection but I call it empathy and that IS selflessness. And we are NOT animals. We are better than that. I read Lord of the Flies too but I got a different message. Remember, the hero never gave in to living like a blood thirsty savage. That proves we aren't all animals.' Harry said.

'But you must admit some of us are and Hrothbert of Bainbridge was an animal and is now a dead animal. I think counseling in prison is a great idea. In some cases, it even works. The cases in which it does not work are those involving psychopaths and dangerous predators and that's exactly what "Bob" was.' The other warden said.

'Wrong!' Harry protested. 'Many violent offenders do reform. What you just said is just popular belief right now. That the violent remain violent. If that was so there would be no such thing as anger management. And sex offenders wouldn't be put in monitory counseling. But no REAL psychiatrist will tell you those people are utterly incurable or untreatable. Do I think there are some people who should be locked up for the rest of their lives? Of course. But THIS... What was done to Bob... That's a Hell of a lot more than a life sentence. And I think he has reformed. People alive reform so why can't Bob have reformed after ten centuries? In the news today we only see those that go back to it, repeat offenders, ect... But that is the real fiction. No one ever talks about the ones that truly reform and never go back to their old ways. Why? Because it's not as interesting and it doesn't make the audience passionately angry, in short, not good ratings. Don't believe everything you see in the news, try picking up a psychiatric journal one day.'

Bob was starting to feel embarrassed but also a little impressed. What sort of research had Harry done for this hearing?

'Sorcerers like Hrothbert of Bainbridge usually have no interest in changing. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about people with no empathy and no conscience. The psychopath's personality is set by the age of eight to ten years. After that it cannot be changed.'

'That's not true. Every mind is different. These "hard facts" about psychology are changing every decade or so! I never denied that there are those that won't change. But the fact is there are those that do change and all CAN and Bob has.'

'Believe me, I would love it if every person, no matter how evil and depraved, could be reformed. I really would. But decades of research by the best criminologists and sociologists in the world have conclusively shown that many people can't be redeemed- mostly because they don't want to be.'

'If it's a choice then you're not talking about "can't." You're talking about "won't." The aspect of CAN is still there, and that was my point. And some of the worst of the worst criminals in the world can and do reform. I'll give you a real example: New York City early part of this last decade. I forgot the exact year. A man ran into a burning building to save a baby. The man was actually someone who had a violent history and skipped out on his parole. He knew if he was seen- and there were police around- that he would be given a quick trip back to prison for several years but that did not matter to him. What mattered was saving that child. When asked why he did it he said "Because it was the right thing to do." We're talking about someone who had a history of violence and drugs much like what Bob's addiction to black magick that he had in life. Yes, it's rare but not impossible. And we need to remember things like this do happen. Society is too cynical.'

The warden continued to talk as if addressing a child. 'Most violent, dangerous criminals- sexual predators and serial killers- are nearly always psychopaths. Psychopaths are utterly selfish. They have no empathy and no conscience. They care ONLY about what is good for them. Period. They have no interest in changing because being evil works for them. That's what Hrothbert of Bainbridge was.'

'I think with Bob it wasn't that he was born deranged but rather something pushed him into it. Perhaps it began with baby steps such as the addiction to black magick. He hinted about it starting small. think with most people it's something that sets them off. Look at Hannibal Lector. Yes, he's fiction but as I said, what can be imagined can be achieved. Hannibal became what he is after witnessing the murder and cannibalizing of his little sister.'

'You're making the fundamental mistake most normal people make when it comes to psychopaths. You seem to think they're basically normal people who just don't know any better, or that they honestly don't realize the pain they cause, and if they did, they would change. I used to believe that, too, until I read a couple of dozen books on the subjects of psychopaths and/or violent criminals. And until I quit lying to myself about my father and sister, and looked honestly at the terrible pain they caused the people who loved them, and their utter disregard for that pain. Or worse yet, their actual ENJOYMENT of it.'

Harry looked exasperated. 'But not every violent criminal is born with a "crush, smash destroy" mentality. And not all of them are incurable. Many violent offenders become this way because of the violent environments they're brought up into. Abuse is a cycle. A child is abused, the child becomes an abusive adult. A man goes to prison and is treated like an animal long term and he forgets how to behave like a man, he comes out of the prison and acts like an animal. That doesn't mean he was an animal all along. That's why cycles of abuse can and often do stop because they see the cycle and decide they've had enough. That's why there are anger management classes and therapy for abusive spouses. I don't think Bob is innocent but I don't think he was ripping the heads off rabbits and laughing about it while teething or anything like that. I think Bob's descent began small, seemingly harmless. Like with a drug addict.'

'People do what works. If being utterly selfish and depraved provides you with enjoyment and success, however you define those things, then that's what you'll continue doing. Bob no motivation to change. One of the points Robert Hare makes in his book about psychopaths is that they're always lying when they talk about love, empathy, compassion, self-sacrifice, etc, and "_when they hear us talking about those things, they think we're lying, too_!" That point cannot be overemphasized. Because they have no empathy, they are literally incapable of understanding another's point of view. So because they are incapable of feeling those emotions, they think everybody else is, too.'

'Bob most certainly is not unable to feel emotion. If there's one thing. I've seen him feel. I've seen him crying while watching Les Miserables.'

'Harry!' Bob interrupted, looking embarrassed.

'What? You were bawling like a baby.' He brought his attention back to the others in the room. I think Bob tries to detach himself because of his condition as a ghost but really his emotional capacity was always there. He's cared for me a Hell of a lot more than my own uncle ever did.'

'I never said violent criminals can't reform. I said they can if they are sufficiently motivated and dedicated to do so and Bob is not.'

'How do you know? You implied that the motivation should be want of reward or freedom or end of punishment. The fact is the best motivation isn't selfish at all. It's a desire to do the right thing because you realize it is right and therefor want to do it. That's a motivation in itself. I think I've been motivating Bob to think this way without even realizing it.'

'You?!' The warden scoffed. 'We know your history Harry Dresden. You're not fooling anyone. Motivation and dedication are extremely rare. That's one reason the recidivism rate is so high for them. As for society's bloodlust and cynicism- um, whom do you think makes up society? People do. And decent, respectable people have the right to be cynical about other people who commit one violent offense after another, and seem to have no interest in reforming. The data overwhelmingly show that those who use black magick have no interest in reforming. They just want to find more effective ways of getting away with their crimes against The High Council.

' That doesn't change how cynical and ineffective it truly is. Our justice system right now is shockingly close to the French justice system of Victor Hugo's life time over a hundred and fifty years ago. That's saying something very unpleasant about today's society.'

'That guy you mentioned- believe it or not, being a violent drug addict is not the same thing as having an Anti-Social Personality Disorder. They're two entirely different conditions. If that man was corrupted by drugs and violence, he may very well have had some decency left in him. You keep assuming I'm tarring all criminals and addicts with the same brush. I'm not. I'm well aware that many of them can and do reform. I'm just saying psychopaths and violent predators like Hrothbert of Bainbridge can't BECAUASE THEY DON'T WANT TO!'  
Harry could tell he was getting angry and that meant he might have been making sense to him despite his rants. 'Ah! But you see, that's my winning hand the fact that Bob was a violent drug addict. He was addicted to black magick. It started small and it snow balled. Take away the magick and you get a drug addict pushed over the edge by grief, loss and the moral corruption from true addiction. It does happen. It's real. And there's very real repentance for it. Look at the blood lust used as a metaphor for alcoholism in some vampire fiction. Bob might as well have been on heroine when he lost Winifred.'

'Harry!' Bob was trying to protest. This humiliation was not worth it. He wanted to descent back into his skull. Why did he have to be standing here for this?  
Harry continued. 'Remember, some violent predators aren't the result of a lacking component of the typical working human brain. Sometimes they're ordinary people who are pushed and snap. Addiction is the key here. Bob probably began with some seemingly harmless mistakes, got caught up with dark magick and it all snow balled.'  
'You just made some vague remarks about how anybody can change, real psychiatrists know that, and how I should read some professional journals. I'll be happy to quote the books I own written by some of the world's foremost experts in sociology, psychology, and criminology. If you can't come up with authoritative rebuttals based on the real-world EVIDENCE, not vague generalizations and fuzzy-minded references to fictional stories, you'll automatically lose that argument.'

Harry gritted his teeth at this man's pompous know-it-all attitude. 'That's because as you, yourself admitted it's a matter of choice. And that was my point. It IS a matter of choice. The choice is always there so that means the possibility of "can" is ever present. You admitted that it's choice. That was the debate and I won it when you said that. You seem to think Bob has chance of having redeeming qualities. But you don't know him. I do. Dark past, trying to repent. The basis of Bob's fall from grace was an addiction to black magick. You, yourself, said violent drug addicts are not the same as violent psychopaths. Bob was a violent drug addict. You keep ignoring that very important fact. Black magick IS a drug. Accept it. Now accept that he is changing. There is nothing psychologically unrealistic about Bob reforming. He's a former violent drug addict whom is learning through exposure a better way. There are no "findings of more than four decades of psychological research" that can tell you what would happen to a human consciousness bound to a skull for ten centuries unable to effect the world around him. There is nothing in those decades of research that say violent drug addicts can't reform. Consider also you're referencing a science that is still young and in America less than thirty years ago that science viewed homosexuality as a mental illness. It's a young science and it's imperfect. It's flawed. It's charting a course through darkness because there is no cookie cutter shape for the human mind. We're all differant and so the views of the collective psychology community are constantly changing. However you, yourself, admitted that anyone CAN change if they are WILLING. That was my point all along so if Bob was willing, motivated by exposure to real acts of goodness than it makes perfect sense to give him this chance. Especially if Bob's darkness began with corruption caused by addiction and loss pushing him over the edge. Bob got addicted to black magick and power and so went from little bits of mind control here and there to '"cackling madly about world domination."'

The Warden put his hands over his hears. 'No! No! No! No!' He moaned. 'Drug addiction and personality disorders are not the same thing!'  
'I never said that!' Harry argued. 'Where did I say that!? WHY are you putting words in my mouth! You know me! I am Harry Dresden! Don't ever pretend I don't know the nature of addiction, especially to Black Magick. I know how it feels, how tempting it is, how easy it is, how it calls to you and promises to make things better. It seems so easy.' Then he quoted Bob. '"It would be easy, wouldn't it? Use the spell. Eliminate your enemies. Start with a clean slate. Yes. We know where that kind of thinking leads. First it's a little enchantment to loosen up a lady's inhabitation. Then you rid yourself of a few 'annoyances.' Compel a demon or two. And before you know it you're all dressed in black cackling madly and plotting world domination." He's been there. He's done that. And he's kept me from falling that way too. He's been like a sponsor to me.'

The warden had calmed but seemed to ignore at least half of Harry's statement and the basic facts about Harry as he ranted.

'A drug addiction is a physical and or psychological dependence on a particular substance or substances. A personality disorder- such as Antisocial Personality Disorder- is a rigid, warping distortion of a person's character. A personality disorder is a sort of psychological crippling. It limits your thought processes and behaviours to a very narrow range rather than the wide variety available to healthy people. They're typically considered incurable because the only way to get rid of one is to "burn your personality to the ground and rebuild it piece by piece."'

'There's NO psychological disorder that is completely untreatable. And you're missing my point entirely. Addiction CAN and will effect the personality.'

'To suggest someone will turn evil because of drug addiction is an insult to drug addicts. People often behave very badly in the throes of addiction, even becoming criminals, typically thieves, but that's not the same thing as being a violent predator.'

Harry could see what he was doing, trying to use Harry's own analogy against him and warping it to say why it could not have just been addiction to Black Magick to have lead Bob on the road to darkness.

The Warden continued. 'People choose to be addicts, just as they choose to be obese. You may inherit the tendency to be an addict or fat, but you still have to choose to imbibe the addictive substance, or eat too much and not exercise enough. You also choose to begin a career of hurting others. Many people come from horribly abusive backgrounds but never become addicts, abusers, or criminals.'

'I never said otherwise but the fact is addiction is very powerful and when you are in the deepest pit of addiction it can warp your views. It corrupts your sense of right and wrong. Don't sit here having a child's temper tantrum telling me it doesn't when I know from personal experience that yes YES it does. it twists things. It makes you justify behaviours that you never would otherwise accept. That's WHY The High Council is so strict about Black Magick addiction. You're naive if you don't think it came make you warped, dark and violent.'

The Warden spoke up, 'Take Gavin De Becker, for example. He was raised in the slums by no father and a heroin-addicted mother who killed herself when he was 16. He and his sisters had horrifying childhoods. But they all grew up to be decent, respectable citizens. De Becker is a world-renowned security expert who has been consulted by many celebrities, state and national governments, and written several best-selling books. He admits that the very same techniques he developed as a child to keep himself and his sisters safe are the ones he uses now to keep his high-profile clients safe, and which he writes about in his books. His is only one of many examples proving that no matter how horrible your background is, you _can_ choose to overcome it.'

Harry looked confused. 'Example of what?' Harry looked confused and then angry. 'When did I EVER say you can't over come where you came from?! When!? Hmm?! You know how poor I was growing up with my dad? Don't go off on a tangent presuming to know my views of certain things! How dare you! What does over coming where you came from have to do with anything we just discussed? You drift off topic and go off on these rants and I think you were just looking for an excuse to mention someone you idolized. That came out of left field! Don't presume to know me, especially in regard to this issue.'  
'You keep saying that anyone can choose to reform. That's true. But the necessary corollary of that is, that if people don't reform, it's because they CHOOSE NOT_ to_. In other words, nobody's a victim of their own addiction or criminality.'

'No one is a victim of their own addictions?! Wow! Talk about heartless! Now that is a complete lack of respect for drug addicts and their addictions which you accused me of in KNOWING what addictions do to people. When you're in the darkest, deepest depths of addiction and don't admit to being an addict then you are a victim. Yes, you might have at first chosen to do the drug and that was the mistake. Hrothbert chose to do black magick, starts small and then got bigger, like drug addiction. Don't think I don't know the nature of addiction. I once saw two drug addicts fighting over a spilt bottle of prescription pain pills like mountain lions fighting over meat. Literally, they were like animals. Only years later after rehab would any of them realize what they had done and be humiliated by it but at the time there's self-justifications. I have my own darker desires too. I've used black magick. You might at first choose to do a drug (and yes that is a mistake) but afterward there is a physical and emotional need and that is the nature of true addiction, something you can't possibly begin to understand thoroughly unless you, yourself, have experienced it and or have witnessed it first hand. I'm not talking about coffee, I'm talking about an addiction so strong that nothing matters until you get that high. Not yourself or the lives of anyone else. Nothing matters. Real addiction is more powerful than any natural thirst or hunger. And it becomes like a snow ball rolling down a hill, getting bigger as it goes because it gets out of hand, a personal demon that takes over. There are very real instances where a man might shoot someone else and rant "He deserved it. He stole my crack!" and years later that same man would fall into a deep remorse because the addiction is so strong it's almost like a demon possessing the soul.'

'They _CHOOSE _ to be an addict or criminal because that's what they want to do. The one thing addicts and criminals have in common is weakness. They both prefer to do what's easy and feels good in the short term, rather than controlling themselves and deferring their reward for the long term.'

'I shouldn't even dignify this with a response. For all your thorough research you know very little about drug addicts. Maybe you were blessed enough to have never seen what addiction does to people first hand. Or you're naive and unimaginative enough to not grasp it... Sure you start off doing it by choice. That's how all addictions begin. Those that do drugs to "party" and what have you. But then it snow balls on you out of control. A physical and emotional need begins that's very hard to escape, worse than any natural hunger or thirst. To pretend otherwise is a complete disrespect to the nature of addiction, real addiction. Hrothbert of Bainbridge was an addict to black magick. You can't argue this fact. It's in your records.'

'You like to poo-poo my sources because of your misconception that they're all on the side of the law. Not so. Strauss and Gelles are extremely liberal.'

Harry scratched his head. ' Uhh... You're off on an unrelated tangent again. That has nothing to do with anything I said.'

The Warden didn't seem to hear him and in fact seemed to be talking more to himself than to Harry. 'I don't know what Hare's politics are. It's true Douglas and Ressler are pretty conservative.'

'Exactly my point.' Harry said. 'There's a bias and slant to begin with. Can you name anyone without a political agenda, who was unbias yet educated who has these views?'

The Warden didn't seem to hear Harry, yet again. 'But none of that really matters. What matters is that ALL OF THESE PEOPLE CAME TO THEIR FINDINGS BY CONDUCTING THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF INTERVIEWS WITH HUNDREDS OF SUBJECTS OVER A PERIOD OF DECADES!'

'Just a few decades ago "several decades of research" said that homosexuality was a mental illness that could be treated with hormone injections. Go back a few more decades and you have "several decades" worth of research stating that wrapping a schizophrenic in wet blankets is therapy. Psychology rewrites itself every thirty or so years based on what is socially acceptable or not.' Harry said. 'It's not a bad science but it's imperfect and it's not completely accurate because every mind IS different.'

The Warden seemed to return to a coherent debate. 'When they say people abuse or commit crimes because they want to, and that they have no interest in changing, they're not just sitting on their cans in a room making that up. It's what they've discovered by interviewing actual abusers, psychopaths, and violent criminals, over and over, for decades. In other words, they're just the messengers reporting a message YOU don't want to hear.'

'Again, not my point. As you say in this very statement it's a matter of wanting to change. Not wanting to change is an issue of WON'T not CAN'T. Basic English tells you that Won't and Can't are two very different words. I won this part of the debate. Why are we repeating ourselves?'

'I could give you a laundry list of the serial killers Douglas and Ressler have interviewed, and who've all said what I've already repeated: that they're utterly selfish, they like hurting and killing other people, and they have no interest in reforming. I won't list any of those filth because they don't deserve the publicity, but I'm sure you've heard of many of them.'

'Again, there is a difference between won't and can't. You are talking about their desires, and that in itself proves it's a choice and is possible. There's no debate. They list off all these people who won't reform but none of them ever want to mention the ones that do reform and that's because society doesn't want to believe that murderers or other criminals might repent.'

'To put the beliefs of novelists and TV writers ahead of decades of actual in-the-field research by the best minds in their fields makes about as much sense as getting your medical advice from House, General Hospital, or novels instead of Johns Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic.'

Harry wanted to ask him how he knew what was on those shows when electronics don't often react well to wizards but he chose against it. 'The fact is many writers do this little thing called research, it's how you get good characterization, by using realistic personality traits. You don't want to accept that Bob can change and that he was a severe addict to black magick and that severe addictions can impair and distort views of right and wrong. Face it, addictions cause terrible things and Bob was very much meant to have been an addict of black magick.  
The ranting warden seemed to be getting tired.

'Look,' Harry said. He raked his hand through his hair as he looked toward Ancient Mai. He was growing desperate. They wouldn't listen to a word he said, would they? They were too stubborn and too bias. They could not accept that maybe someone like Bob could have changed. Well, Harry knew better. Harry believed in him. 'Make me responsible for him.'

'You're already responsible for him. The skull is your property.' Ancient Mai said coolly.

'Bob is NOT a piece of property!' Harry's hands were clenched as fists.

'Oh, no? You complained to us not along ago about a woman named Tara saying "She stole Bob." That's not property? The skull is property. The ghost just happens to be attached to it. The ghost is not a person. It's a consciousness attached to an object. It IS property. In fact it's on file as "the skull of Hrothbert of Bainbridge." It's not a person, Harry.'

'If he's not a person that I can do what I want with it. Since the skull is MY property. And I want him freed.'

'A very dangerous piece of property that needs to be monitored. The knowledge that ghost has of dark magick is a powder keg in the wrong hands. It's like trusting you with a nuclear weapon and no, you can't do what you want with it. You are under the jurisdiction of the High Council.'

'Just... Just let him go. If he does anything wrong hold me accountable. Punish me. Just give him one chance.'

An older looking female warden stood up beside Ancient Mai. 'This hearing is adjourned for recess. We'll reconvene when we've made our decision.'

Soon all the other wardens and wizards had quietly left the room and all that remained now were Bob and Harry. Bob looked over at Harry in the awkward quiet. 'Harry, everything he said... '

'Are you going to tell me he's not wrong? Save it, Bob. I don't believe you're all that evil.'

Bob nodded, choosing not to debate with Harry at this moment. The humiliation he felt at being the subject of the debate Harry just had left him feeling awkward. Still... if Harry somehow won what would they do? Would they somehow grant him a second chance at life? No, The High Council would never do that. Would they release him? If so then were would he go? Harry didn't know. He did not know.

If only he could be mortal instead. He didn't really want to move on. Not just yet anyway. He wanted to see how Harry's story unfolded, the story he was still living. If only he could be a part of that life...

Bob felt as if he were a shadow, just drifting in the background of Harry's life. Never able to touch others, physically or emotionally. And it was a cold, lonely existence. How could he be expected to endure this much longer? How long must this go on? It seemed a cruel trick of fate. All this because of the careless decisions he had made so long ago. And then he had been left in this state, and object... just an object. A resented or otherwise unthought-of source of magical knowledge. A slave. Would he ever be forgiven? Did he really want to be forgiven?

Bob could not run from who and what he was. He could not hide from all the pain he felt deep down inside. As he looked at the world with the illusion of his once pale grayish green-blue eyes the night fell and the darkness remained... He was an outsider on the dark side of the glass looking in on a world he could never again truly be a part of.

Harry looked at Bob. Inside he was praying though he wasn't entirely sure who or what he was praying to. He knew he would have to be stupid to believe there was nothing, not with everything he had seen and experienced but he wasn't so sure he really liked God, whomever, or whatever it was. But still just this once as he looked at his friend he hoped someone could hear his internal monologue.

Would God listen to someone like him? Should he try to call out for help from anyone or anything beyond himself? It never worked before. He saw Bob and he saw himself. They were both outcasts. Harry had been hungry his whole life, not physically, but emotionally, always looking for the family that had been denied him. Bob had become his family. And he wanted Bob to somehow find the mercy that had never been shown to him on Earth. Harry knew how it felt to be lost and forgotten. To feel alone in all the world. And here Bob was attached to a world he really, really was not a part of. Some people wanted fame or wealth. Harry did not want any of that. He could get by as he always had but in moments like these he realized how less lucky some of his own friends were.

Was there a reason why some people are better off than others? Why did it seem like the really lucky ones were always such bastards?

What if that warden was right. What if he did just want to feel better about himself? When he helped others was he really seeking goodness or just seeking attention? Is that all it ever really was? No! That could not be true. He could not believe that. I would not believe that. Harry had to believe in goodness. It was all he had...

At that moment Ancient Mai and the other High Council members returned. Ancient Mai looked as if she had been sucking lemons. Was that a good sign?

'We have come to a decision.' Ancient Mai said. 'The skull of Hrothbert of Bainbridge will remain untampered with as originally decreed in 900 AD that the soul of Hrothbert of Bainbridge shall now and forever remain ensnared...'

'NO!' Harry protested.

The obnoxious Warden who had made Harry doubt his only real faith, the faith in goodness, was looking smug with an 'I told you so" sort of expression on his face. Harry wanted to punch him.

Ancient Mai raised her hand for silence. 'However we have agreed to allow a sort of... parole.' She practically spat the word.

'Parole?' This was the first time Bob had been offered anything at all from The High Council in his entire existence as a ghost. He looked dazed and confused.

'The Ghost will be granted the ability to physically interact with the world around him. The tether holding the ghost to the skull will be lengthened to allow the ghost more mobility. The ghost is still bound to the skull and will remain unable to interact with the skull itself as to insure that the ghost is still made to comply with the commands of a High Council appointed master, that would be you, Harry Dresden.' She added the last bit as if Harry were a simpleton who needed basic things explained to him.

Bob's pale eyes widened. A strange look of relief washed over his face with the lingering look of confusion and wonder. For once the ghost seemed at a loss for words.

There was a murmuring of several wizards and witches who seemed startled and disapproving of this ruling. They knew Bob's past. They knew his history. They did not like him and they did not want him to have more potential to seem like a real person to them. He was not meant to ever be one of them again. He was a disgrace to the magical community even after all this time. This was an outrage. They felt he was evil. This was shameful. What sort of trouble had Harry Dresden caused them now? This was disgraceful. Harry Dresden was an agitator, an outsider who had come from a non-magical father. He never belonged here. And after the High Council had learned what Justin Morningway, a well trusted member of their society had planned, how could they ever hope to trust his nephew whom had murdered him? They were all a pack of liars and now they would not be so blind again as to trust the likes of him. They should have known he would do what he had done. The whole blood line should have been wiped out.

Dresden was the child of grief, the loss of his mother and then his father and then raised by his hateful uncle and this dead sorcerer he had been helpless to defy his fate. After he had killed his uncle in 'self-defense' they had been merciful enough to let him live but how could they allow him to let them forget what they could not forgive? He was not one of them. He would never be one of them. He was not a part of The High Council. He was not like them. And now he was breaking decrees from over a thousand years ago! They were angry.

This was clearly not Ancient Mai's idea but someone had given a push and Ancient Mai had submitted if only slightly.

She stepped forward and walked to the skull. She looked down at it coldly. She opened her mouth improbably wide and flame spewed forward. Harry could feel the heat of it as the light flickered off the walls around them.

Bob flinched as if he could feel the flame and Harry dreaded to ask if he could or not. He started to scream. He covered the sides of his head with his hands. His fingers seemed to be gripping at his own white hair.

'Stop! STOP THIS! You're hurting him!' Harry shouted and ran forward toward Ancient Mai. He saw the orange flame turn pale bluish green and then die away. The skull unharmed.

Bob was on his knees, slowly lowering his hands from his head. He reached out toward Harry. He had to concentrate with his whole being. This body, after all, was not real. It was an illusion. He reached for Harry's shirt sleeve trying to stop him.

Harry felt it. A very slight tug, like the tug of a small child. He looked down and Bob's fingertips were against his sleeve. He was FEELING Bob.

Bob looked amazed but lost his concentration. And his hand slipped right through Harry.

Harry felt it like a cold mist passing through his arm. He looked down at it and then toward Ancient Mai as she started to speak again.

'When the ghost adapts the ghost will be able to accomplish more and potentially be of more use to you, Dresden.' Ancient Mai said, wiping her mouth as if she had just been gargling. Then her eyes flashed an unnatural colour. 'Don't make us regret this.'

Bob nodded and slowly climbed to his feet. He seemed to be trembling.

'No, you can't do this!' The warden that had spoken against Harry through this ordeal said. 'I won't let you go against the intentions of The High Council's founders. I won't let you release that demonic sorcerer!' he had an athame dagger. It had a black handle and a double edged blade. He lunged for Ancient Mai.

Ancient Mai did not move. Bob however did. The invisible chains holding him to his skull were now longer. He was able to appear in front of her before the warden reached her.

He concentrated and managed to catch the warden's wrist before the dagger could reach Ancient Mai's flesh. This time his focus was stronger. It was a lot more than his feeble grip on Harry's sleeve. The warden let out a startled gasp and dropped the dagger.

Ancient Mai reached down and picked up the athame. She looked it over as if examining a child's toy.

Finally two wardens came forward and grabbed the warden by either arm.

Not a word was spoken for what seemed like a very long moment. And then Ancient Mai spoke up coldly toward the others present. 'Anyone else question my ruling?'

There were no more protests after that. And Bob and Harry went home.

The End.


End file.
